CONTENTS

Archives - INDEX to Personal newsletters

Dear Praying Friends!

This update is basically a continuation directly following the sending out of my

March 2004 update

Upcoming Eye Surgery / Eye Surgery Cancelled / Update re Eye Surgery - INTRO /
GOOD NEWS Re the Antibiotics I had to Take to Prepare for Surgery / To Re-Schedule or Not to Re-Schedule?? / INTERESTED IN YOUR INPUT / Feel That I have a Temporary Answer / Related Emotional/Spiritual Healing a Part of the Process / Opening Up a Huge Can of Worms / Some Thoughts re Healing /
God Preparing His Church to be the 'New Health Care System?' / Letting My Eye Surgeon Know

UPCOMING EYE SURGERY - April 26
I have been very busy the past weeks in trying to tie up necessary loose ends before my upcoming eye surgery scheduled for early Mon. morning! Just had my doc appt. Thurs. to make sure my last leg infection is healed enough to go through with it this time...so hopefully after I recover I'll actually be able to see with my right eye again, which has been blind for almost a year now due to the cortisone for the arthritis!

My eye specialist just called about an hour ago to say it might be postponed due to the upcoming medical strike...sure hope not! I'll find out by tomorrow night. I've already been taking the antibiotics for several days (to hopefully prevent infection from the surgery, due to the high risk of infection for me) and don't want to take them for nothing if at all possible, cause they always mess up my bod pretty good for months afterwards...

So we'll see what happens...

I had to give my fears of the surgery to God last week...fears of infection from the surgery, potential complications due to my bent towards life-threatening infections and my low immune system, as well as that needle they have to poke into my eye to freeze it....makes my blood curdle to think of it! Anyway....I have peace now and can hardly wait to have this over with so I can see with that eye again...it has been very stressful on my body to be one-eyed the past year or so...sure makes me feel for people with eye problems!!!! and especially blind people!!

I will deeply appreciate your prayers!!!

I recently had a couple dreams that God was going to heal my eye without surgery, so I don't know whether that was indeed from Him or wishful thinking, though I believe He confirmed the dreams through Scripture as well, so perhaps if it gets postponed again this time, perhaps HE is holding off the surgery cause He wants to heal my eye without it??? THAT WOULD BE AWESOME, and obviously my preference!!!!!!!!! :)

Anyway, I'll update you on the surgery as soon as I'm able to do so....

I look forward to hearing from you, as you're able!! It's always great to hear from you!

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH for your friendship, prayers, love and other support as the Lord has led you!! I am soo grateful to the Lord for the love He continues to pour into my life through you!!! You are such blessings!!!

May His blessings indeed CHASE YOU DOWN as one translation says (Deut 28:2)..another says OVERTAKE you....!! And may it indeed by the ACCEPTABLE YEAR OF THE LORD'S FAVOUR in your life in these days as He continues to prepare us to be His pure and spotless Bride in these last of the last days....

Have a GREAT and blessed weekend!!!!

You are in my heart and prayers!!

With much love and prayers,
Grace

EYE SURGERY CANCELLED - Apr 25 update

Dear Praying Friends;

I just wanted to let you know that I got a call from the hospital a few minutes ago to tell me that my eye surgery has been cancelled....and that my eye specialist will re-schedule again once they're able to do so...

Sooooo...not sure what this all means....especially considering the dreams I had about my eye being healed without surgery and a couple Bible stories to confirm that...

This time I DIDN'T GET SICK before the surgery and had prayed that if GOD wanted to heal me without surgery, that He would shut things down without me getting sick this time...so the timing of this strike is verrrrry interesting to me, considering that elective surgeries like mine only are starting to be cancelled at noon today, as I understand it....just half a day before my surgery was scheduled! Hmmm...??? Not sure what it all means, but I guess I'll take it one step at a time...

Unfortunately I now have this new half round of pre-op antibiotics in my system...

Thankfully this cancellation will give me some time this week to relax a bit more after a very busy few weeks of trying to tie up loose ends before surgery....

Sooooo, I'm disappointed in some ways cause I was soooo ready to finally just have this done and overwith; BUT on the other hand, if this is God shutting this down and waiting a little longer to heal me without that, I'M TOTALLY GAME!!!!!!!!

I guess I'll see what my eye surgeon says about re-scheduling...and will let you know when I find out...

Thank you soooo much for all your prayers and I have had such peace about going through with this if that was God's best plan for me with this, and have peace about whatever is happening now, too, even though I don't know.... so for that I am very grateful!

I hope you are all having an awesome weekend!!

With love and prayers,
Grace

Hi again dear praying friends!

Thanks again soo much for those that have responded and for all your prayers and encouragements and input!!! I am responding as able...thank you for your patience!!! : )

I had hoped to respond earlier but have been experiencing the usual after effects of the antibiotics which tend to take a significant toll on my body for several months after every time that I have had to be on them, so I've not been getting to the computer too much this week.

CONTENTS

GOOD NEWS RE THE ANTIBIOTICS I HAD TO TAKE TO PREPARE FOR SURGERY

Some GOOD NEWS, however, about having to have more antibiotics in my system again this time (which was to prepare me for the eye surgery which was cancelled) is that a couple days after my cancelled surgery, I got a big scratch on my leg from my motorized Scooter while I was taking my FIRST SOLO RIDE through my neighbourhood!!! :) (wheeeeeeeee!!!) If I HADN'T had the antibiotics in my system already, this scratch would have immediately sent me back off to Emergency for IV antibiotics again!!

So although I didn't understand, at first, why I had to go on antibiotics again to prepare for surgery that was then cancelled, and although I was initially disappointed about that, if I HADN'T had the antibiotics in my system already, I would have spent the week on IV antibiotics again!! So God turned that negative situation around for GOOD!!

Not only did I get that big scratch but two other ones in the same week, and because of the antibiotics, NONE of them sent me off to Emergency this time. So I'm soo grateful to the Lord for working this out!! PTL!! I've been keeping a close eye on the scratches and nothing seems to be happening this time!!!

TO RE-SCHEDULE OR NOT TO RE-SCHEDULE???

I have also not updated you further, yet, because I have been praying for further direction about whether to re-schedule or not, once my eye surgeon would call me back about that.

Just after I had written you about the eye surgery being cancelled, although I was feeling disappointed about that when I wrote, just after that I suddenly started feeling major RELIEF that it had been cancelled...and as I was praying about that and why I was suddenly feeling such RELIEF, a verse that has been coming to my mind a LOT in the past month or so has been the one about every matter having to be established by two or three witnesses...

And as I was praying more about this, what came to mind was the following:

In the past few months I feel that God has impressed on me:
+ 2 Scriptures about Him asking me specifically if I wanted to have my eyesight healed - through a couple stories about that in the Gospels...these came up when I was NOT looking for them, but I felt that God was asking me to ask Him to heal my eyesight (without surgery)...
+ 2 dreams about me having Him heal my eyesight without surgery
+ 2 cancellations of my eye surgeries - and amazing timing in both situations

Also, I had prayed that if God wanted to heal me without surgery, He would cause my surgery to be cancelled, this time, WITHOUT my getting sick, and do it through the doctors or something like that, instead....and this time it was the medical personnel that caused it be cancelled, and I was finally healthy enough to go through with it and all ready for it! Hmmmm..I can't take that lightly, either!!

And I felt that through this He may perhaps be saying to me?? that here He has given me '3 witnesses' - 2 times apiece! When I think about the likelihood of this happening, and the timing of it all, it just seems to me to be more than coincidence! and I can't take it lightly!!

And so I have been really wanting God to clarify for me whether this is indeed what He's saying to me.... since obviously this is a very serious decision to make!!

IS He giving me a CHOICE to go through with the surgery OR to wait for Him to do it without? That I don't know...

OR does He feel He has given me enough 'evidence' to stand on faith with to NOT RE-SCHEDULE and just to trust Him to heal me without surgery?

Has He given me enough 'evidence' and am I just too chicken, yet, to risk stepping out in faith and completely shutting down the whole idea of surgery for my eye altogether??

Although I don't know, I do feel that He has me leaning in the direction of completely forgetting about going through with eye surgery.

And for me the biggest issue is WHAT IS HIS WILL IN THIS? Does HE want me to re-schedule or NOT? I am willing to go either way, but do not want to disobey Him by re-scheduling if He wants me to step out in faith and just trust Him without that? And I don't want to avoid going through with surgery if He wants me to go through with it!

Either option involves a major faith risk, but the option to choose to trust Him to heal me instead of re-scheduling is obviously a larger risk in some ways.

I have given over to Him my fears about going through with this surgery which is risky for me due to my other health issues, but I realized this week that for me to trust Him and potentially not re-schedule brings up a whole bunch of other fears which I am in the process of having to give over to Him, which I had not realized as much before...

For example, how will others respond? Will they see me as irresponsible, and if I remain blind as a result, will they feel like I deserve it because I 'asked for it' by turning down surgery? and of course the fear of 'what if God DOESN'T heal my eye if I step out in faith in this direction? or what if I say NO to the surgery completely and then realize, months later, that I had made the wrong decision - how would my eye doctor respond and would he allow me to change my mind?; what if I remain blind in this eye and my other cataract in the other eye causes that so-far good eye to become blind before long, too?, etc. etc. So, yes, I'm in the process of giving these over because I don't want to make a decision that is influenced by fear; plus fear will keep me from experiencing God's peace.

INTERESTED IN YOUR INPUT

Anyway, I would also be very interested in your input on the things I have shared about this, and if you feel God has put something on your heart about this which you feel you're to pass on to me, I will be grateful to receive it and prayerfully consider it.

FEEL LIKE I HAVE A TEMPORARY ANSWER

Because the local health care strike action is now somewhat resolved temporarily and since surgeries are being re-scheduled, I was thinking it would be several weeks before I'd get called to re-schedule because many thousands have been cancelled.

However, I felt like I needed to have an answer to this ASAP so that I would have an answer for the doctor when he'd call with a new date... so on Mon. of this week when some dear friends from one of the women's prayer/fellowship groups were here, we were prayerfully discussing this, as another one of the women had also had a hospital stay cancelled and is also wondering whether she's to go through with it.

Interestingly, a couple passages of Scripture came up: a passage in Isaiah 30 about hearing a voice behind us saying 'this is the way, walk in it', and another passage - Jeremiah 42,43...

To make this part of a long story short, after a lot of discussion, etc.,.I personally felt that what I needed to do at this point, is to WAIT UNTIL I HAVE MORE CLARITY/PEACE before I make a decision on which way to go.

In the past God has had me take numerous major faithrisks, but in each situation I felt He had given me enough 'evidence' to move forward in that direction even though it may have seemed absolutely ludicrous and crazy to me and others to do so, and in every situation He has come through in incredible ways!!! He also gave me much peace about the decision in the midst of the anticipation of not knowing how He would work it out but just knowing I needed to trust Him and risk.

THIS time, however, I feel like the 'evidence' is definitely building in various ways, but due to the significance of the situation, I don't feel that I have quite enough to make a decision one way or the other since it got cancelled the second time...which, in itself, seems like more 'evidence' that perhaps I'm not to re-schedule. I don't feel I have peace about either decision at this point, though I am leaning towards not re-scheduling at all...

Maybe He just wants me to choose an option and will honor whatever decision I make? But with what I mentioned above and with what I want to mention below, I THINK He is likely leading me not to re-schedule at all, but I feel like I need some more confirmation about this before I can really do that...

RELATED EMOTIONAL/SPIRITUAL HEALING

A PART OF THE PROCESS

Another aspect to this line of thinking, which I think is significant, is the fact that although God has done a ton of healing in my heart over the past decade or so of things from the past, and has brought increasing freedom and joy and intimacy with Himself as a result, over the past months I have felt that the Holy Spirit has been bringing to my attention a bunch of other things which He has begun to address and have me work through in this season in my life. He has done a lot during other 'wilderness times' in my life, but I feel this is another wilderness season - and His Word says He wants to make STREAMS SPRING UP IN THE WASTELANDS....PTL!!!

I believe that this is all part of preparing me further for the things I believe He is moving me into increasingly in terms of ministry and relationships (especially with Him), and which seems to be what He is doing in many believer's hearts these days in terms of further purifying His Bride to become pure and spotless in these last of the last days.

I have felt that the things He is working on these weeks are specifically related to my further physical healing as well...and I increasingly feel that one of the reasons God seems to be wanting me to wait on this decision about re-scheduling eye surgery is because of what He wants to do in my heart in the next while as I work through the things He's bringing to light.

When one of my co-workers was over for some weeks in the fall, as she was praying about why I wasn't healed yet, the Holy Spirit seemed to bring up some things at that point which I felt He was going to want to work through with me in the months to come. He did some of that with me the past months, but I had a sense that it was just another beginning and that He had a lot more He wanted to do, so I just asked Him to lead me in His way and time, since He is my Wonderful Counsellor.

Since then, we as the women's fellowship I mentioned above, have sensed God leading us in some pretty amazing ways over the past month or so as well, in aspects of working through things that He is and has been bringing up in all of our lives and we strongly feel He is doing this to further prepare us for what He is moving us into in the future.

OPENING UP A HUGE CAN OF WORMS

For me personally, in the past few weeks, through some very interesting situations, through Scriptures, through prayer, through input from other believers in my life, etc., He's been opening up a huge can of worms in my life which it seems He feels I'm finally ready to face and deal with, which I had no idea was there... other than some initial thoughts in that regard when my co-worker was here in fall.

I feel like He recently kindof gave me an overview of some of the major issues He's wanting to deal with and He seems to be working at them a little here and there...

A major aspect that He began to work on a couple weeks ago was dealing with all of the loss in my life, in every aspect, which I've experienced due to my health....

Because changes happened so slowly over the years, I only worked through some of the obvious losses like when I'd get a new deformity, or have to spend large amounts of finances on health issues, or have to miss out on significant events that I used to love to participate in, or when a romantic relationship ended due to the severity of my health, or when I couldn't invest the kind of time or energy I had wanted to with family or friends, or when my vocal chords ruined and changed my ability to sing, and when my hands became too painful and deformed to play piano anymore, etc., and occasionally other significant occasions.

However, it seems I never actually realized the full impact of it all - because of the gradual build-up - until He started bringing it up to me the past weeks and I started to actually FEEL the tremendous losses/grief/sorrow and was able to finally do some major grieving over these losses!! and finally begin to release that to Him!!!

I cried from the depths of my being for almost 3 days! - I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life! - but it was soo healing and He encouraged me so much in the midst of it. He brought so many Scriptures to mind which brought so much comfort!

This is not to discount, in any way, all of the amazing things God HAS done throughout that time, or the awesome and deeply touching/encouraging ways He has revealed Himself to my heart in the midst of this, and not to discount His MANY blessings during all of these years, but I still had to finally come face to face with the losses, own then, face and feel them and then through this process I am able to finally experience God's healing and begin to let these losses go to a deeper level than ever before...

I don't know if it's all done yet...I rather don't think so, but that was a HUGE start!!!!

And then about 2 weeks ago it seems He's started off with letting me see that I have in fact been hating my body because of the deformities and how I've felt my body has stolen so much of my life away - in every aspect of my life...He let me see that I have in fact seen it as a major enemy in my life and therefore have blamed it and hated it and that has brought all kinds of stuff into my life (including ill health - because God says I'm a temple of the Holy Spirit and I'm to love my body and I was basically in rebellion to Him in that - without realizing it)...

He also reminded me of how I had said, numerous times the past years, that I didn't want to live out my life into old age with my body like this - it is and has been, basically, the body of a deteriorated, sick and restricted senior citizen for about 7 or more years already. He reminded me how I have really struggled with His promises/'blessings' to live a long life if we honor/obey Him, cause I didn't want to live a long life like this....so in essence I had basically called God's blessings a curse and that has brought some measure of judgement on my body, I believe, because of the consequences of this sin.

I also feel like He impressed on my heart that in essence I had made a covenant with death - which it talks about in the Bible, and He encouraged me, as He does in Deut., to CHOOSE LIFE and NOT DEATH - and so as He revealed these things and many more similar things to me, He also led me through repentance and renunciation of all of this, and began to reveal to me some of the devil's lies in this regard that I had been believing, and started replacing them with His truth in those specific areas....and then started to fill those places of pain and fear, as I gave them to Him, with His healing and peace, etc.

There are also some even deeper issues that He is beginning to reveal to me about this this week, which are very painful to admit and face, but I'm also sooo glad that He's finally uprooting these things that have messed up aspects of my 'foundation' and He is in the process of rebuilding me on the True Foundation - Himself and His Truth as He continues to renew my mind and restore my heart in relationship with Him.

I also have struggled with HOW to love this body, because I've known intellectually that I'm to love it, but emotionally have not known how to love a body like this with so many deformities. But as He helped me to admit this and talk with Him about it, He also began to show me, in various ways, some aspects of how this is possible.... I have further to work through this with Him, but I'm so excited because I believe this is also going to affect my healing but more importantly, bring me into deeper intimacy with Him!

For example, He let me see how, although His Body is deformed, disabled and dysfunctional, He still loves His Body and is in the process of purifying her - He doesn't love the sin and distortions in His Church, but He loves His Bride. He reminded me that although He was marred and disfigured (Is. 53?) and although He even bore the sin and diseases of the world on/in His body, God loved His body (though not the sin/disease, etc.)....and so did His disciples.... And as I love others who are deformed or disabled, so I need to also love my body. Not sure why it's so hard to love our own bodies, or to grasp onto that emotionally, but it seems to go much deeper than an intellectual understanding... anyways, somewhere I had bought into lies of the enemy and believed them and have sinned against my body and against the Lord by my unbelief in this. Thank God He is merciful and forgiving and loves to RESTORE us!

Anyway, I feel like this is just the tip of a new iceberg...but I'm soo excited because He is doing it to bring increasing freedom!! Galatians says that IT IS FOR FREEDOM THAT CHRIST HAS SET US FREE... Then it says STAND FIRM, then, and DO NOT LET YOURSELVES BE BURDENED AGAIN WITH A YOKE OF SLAVERY....

SOME THOUGHTS RE HEALING

Interestingly, at the same time as this has all been coming to the surface, I feel He's also brought some very helpful related books and television programs on IT'S A NEW DAY to my attention....one of the books has to do with the spiritual roots of diseases from a biblical perspective and seems to be confirming so many of the things I feel that the Holy Spirit has been speaking to my heart through His Word and in prayer, etc....

Although I have been a student re healing for many years, and although there are MANY aspects to healing and many reasons why people may not be healed, I feel like a very often neglected aspect of healing which God seems to be increasingly bringing to my attention and to the attention of the Church in these days, is the aspect of the spiritual roots of diseases and how so much of our health issues have to do with unforgiveness, fear, anxiety, rebellion, idolatry, self hatred, etc. etc.

Doctors and counsellors have for years known about aspects of this and have been talking about it and addressing these issues in various degrees, but to me it seems like the more we understand this, especially as the Church - since only Jesus can bring the deep and lasting healing that we need, the more healing we will see - not only emotional and spiritual healing but physical as well...

For example, several verses that are really impacting me these days are (all of these verses are from NIV):

3 John 1:2 Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. (another version says 'and that you may prosper, even as your soul prospers).

So in this passage there appears to be a direct link to spiritual/emotional health with good health and prosperity (in any area of life) ... and there is a prayer that we MAY ENJOY GOOD HEALTH....how often do we in the Church actually tend to deny that good health is something God wants us to have?

Yes, of course God can and does use illness in our lives!!! and turns what the enemy means for evil around for good, and I am very grateful for the many things He has taught me and done in my life in and through my lifelong health issues!!, but I also think that because we have not seen or experienced much healing on many fronts over the years, we've often adopted a mentality/belief that God doesn't really want us to be well, because that gives Him a 'way out' /an excuse if He doesn't come through and so we will be less disappointed as we protect ourselves with this kind of thinking...rather than us having to continue to wrestle with God as Jacob did with the angel when we don't understand...this is very painful for us...to keep trusting God even though we don't understand...His ways are so much higher than our ways...

Having had a chronic illness and subsequent additional related illnesses as a result for almost my entire life, I have gone through sooooooooo many intellectual and especially emotional and spiritual struggles over the whole issue of healing and the many streams of thought and approaches in that regard. I think that God has taught me a lot about this over the years...mostly that there are no easy answers and that in many ways I feel like I know way less now about that than I ever did!, but also that there are also many aspects to healing, in Scripture, and that there are a lot of things we CAN learn - such as about nutrition from a biblical perspective, and so forth. And again, I think one of the most overlooked aspects is that of spiritual roots of disease/sickness.

I also think that much of our emotional and spiritual pain regarding healing is wrapped up in many lies that we have subtly come to believe over the years because we have had expectations dashed re healing and have been devastated (and of course the Bible says 'the thief has come to steal, kill and destory' and a major way he does that is through getting us to believe his lies which bring death into our lives).

Or we have perhaps been told we haven't had faith - or whatever, and so to try to preserve our relationship with God when we feel He has disappointed or failed us or perhaps even betrayed us, we have perhaps tried to protect God's reputation by giving Him a way out, thus lowering our heart-expectation of what He actually wants to do and eventually coming to believe that He probably doesn't really want us to be well after all...

When instead, I think, more and more, that He is wanting to use the illness and emotional pain in our lives to help bring us into deeper intimacy with Himself and increasing healing and freedom as He continues to reveal areas that He wants to rebuild and restore in our lives - spiritually and emotionally especially, which will eventually also effect our health physically...and as we learn through the process, we can pass on what we've learned to others and hopefully be able to assist them in receiving God's healing, too!! - again, with the main thing being that our relationship with Him becomes more intimate as He continues to clear out things that need to be dealt with in our lives.

Malachai 4:2 But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall.

To me it seems this passage is saying that, as the 'sun' of righteousness rises and grows in our lives in every area...where the righteousness of Christ is worked out in and through us as we PUT OFF the old self and PUT ON THE NEW, where we replace the lies of the enemy and are RENEWED by the Truth, this increasing righteousness will bring HEALING as it continues to rise...and increasing freedom! Just as the sun brings more light as it rises, and as it brings more warmth the higher it rises, and as it brings LIFE and growth to the earth as it rises and sheds its light, so as righteousness rises in our lives in every area, healing will increasingly take place!

1 Thess. 5:23May God HIMSELF, the God of peace, sanctify you THROUGH and THROUGH. May your WHOLE spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it. (He, after all, is the one who is in the process of completing the good work He began in us, and HE is working in us to will and to do His good pleasure - according to His Word).

There's also the passage in James 5 which talks about the prayer for healing and the need for confession in that situation....14Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

And there's the passage about taking communion and the fact that 'many are weak and sick' because they have not discerned the body...1 Corinthians 11:29For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself. 30That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep. 31But if we judged ourselves, we would not come under judgment.

How often do we consider the fact that perhaps many in the Church are weak or sick or have died because of the reason above? Do we know what it means? - 'without recognizing the body of the Lord'? Here it again connects sickness and death with spiritual roots.

I used to wonder about this a lot and over time and through study, etc., personally, I have come to believe that, especially considering that we are told that we need to make things right with others before taking communion, etc., that a major part of communion which I think we traditionally have tended to overlook to a fairly large extent, is the major relationship issues that the Holy Spirit is constantly drawing our attention to in Scripture...unity issues, forgiving each other, loving each other deeply, aspects of having true and deep fellowship with each other, etc. There are many 'one another' passages which tell us how to love each other.

It seems to me that so often in communion we focus on our relationship with God almost exclusively, and seem to tend to let our relationship problems remain 'under the rug' or whatever...we hope they'll go away because we are too afraid to confront others - for fear of rejection or fear that we will turn them off/away or whatever it may be. I know, very well, these types of fears and continue to struggle to increasingly overcome them in my own life as well!

I believe that in my life God is very concerned about working through every relationship issue that I'm a part of because this is soo vital in our relationship with Him and His Body and so vital to being a representative of Him in this world.

Yes, it is HARD!!! and it is often very painful, but I also believe that the more we deal with these relational issues, the more our relationships and level of fellowship will deepen with the Lord and with each other, and the less we in the Church will be weak and sick, etc.

And of course the very sobering passages in Deut 27-30 also shows direct links between disobedience and sickness....

Scripture is clear that there are spiritual roots to disease...I am not saying that this is in every case, of course, but I think it is the root of illness FAR more than we have any idea that it is....but I believe that these spiritual roots will not be able to be discerned unless the Holy Spirit is leading and guiding, and only He knows the appropriate time and steps that He wants us to take to move us through these processes as He leads us. But I believe that as we ask Him to lead us to the roots and sources of our illnesses, if we're willing to have Him reveal the Truth and if we're willing to cooperate with Him in working through them, we can have great hope and experience increasing freedom and healing in every area of our lives.
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ANYWAY, I feel VERY encouraged by this and it gives me much hope. I believe it is a major key to healing because it is focused on our relationship with God and increasing intimacy with Him and increasing whole-hearted, total-life worship of Him!

I feel that God is encouraging me that as I work through these things with Him, even though they are horrendously painful in various aspects of the process, and it takes God's courage and His strength and grace to go through each step as He leads me step by step, that it can only bring increasing freedom and joy in my relationship with Him - whatever happens to my health - but I also believe that He is indicating to me that this WILL be a vital part of my further healing...

Job 22: 21 "Submit to God and be at peace with him;
in this way prosperity will come to you..." (in whatever area we have need).
"...22 Accept instruction from his mouth
and lay up his words in your heart.
23 IF you return to the Almighty, you will be restored:
If you remove wickedness far from your tent
24 and assign your nuggets to the dust,
your gold of Ophir to the rocks in the ravines,
25 THEN the Almighty will be your gold,
the choicest silver for you.
26 Surely THEN you will find delight in the Almighty
and will lift up your face to God.
27 You will pray to him, and he will hear you,
and you will fulfill your vows.
28 What you decide on will be done,
and light will shine on your ways.
29 When men are brought low and you say, 'Lift them up!'
then he will save the downcast.
30 He will deliver even one who is not innocent,
who will be delivered through the cleanness of your hands."

He has been reminding me again and again of the passage above, as well, and the need to submit to Him and to lay down the lies that we have believed (as He reveals them to us) and the blessings noted above are INCREDIBLE!!

Job 36:15 But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering;
he speaks to them in their affliction.

16 "He is wooing you from the jaws of distress
to a spacious place free from restriction,
to the comfort of your table laden with choice food.

I believe this is what He's in the process of doing...
Jeremiah 31:3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, [1] saying:

"I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
4 I will build you up again
and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel.
Again you will take up your tambourines
and go out to dance with the joyful.

I believe He is in the process of restoring our lives as we continue to submit to Him, and I believe this will be worked out in our health as well.

GOD PREPARING HIS CHURCH TO BE THE 'NEW HEALTH CARE SYSTEM?'

I think one of the things He's also doing these days, is teaching us as His Church how to work through these things. It seems to me that sooo many believers I know that are seeking the Lord and seeking increasing intimacy with Him, are experiencing major sickness and serious diseases and emotional disorders in these days...

I personally feel that part of what this is about is that God is wanting to use these processes to not only draw us closer to Himself, but to teach us more about the many aspecs of health and healing. Why?

I believe that as the current health care systems continue to disintegrate and as the sicknesses and diseases/emotional disorders of the Church and the world increase, especially in these last days with new diseases popping up all the time - every one seemingly more serious than the last one - and growing abuse and sin of every kind, that God is in the process of training up His Church to become a/the? 'health care system' of the future - and so in order to move us increasingly into that type of role as those that He wants to be the Healer through, we need to learn and understand the many biblical reasons for sickness and disease and learn to hopefully overcome it in our lives as He leads us, so that we can also help others - as we see in Job 22 above, too...

LETTING MY EYE SURGEON KNOW

Anyway, having said all of this, this, to me (the fact that the Holy Spirit seems to be bringing up all this stuff in my life at this time again), is another major indication to me that at this point I need to work through the things my Wonderful Counsellor is leading me through with regard to these issues, and I believe that as I do this, He will more clearly indicate to me whether I'm to re-schedule or not at some point, though I suspect He won't have me do so.

INTERESTINGLY, just as we as the women's prayer/fellowship group were ending our conversation about whether to re-schedule, and just as I was saying I felt I needed to wait for a more clear answer from the Lord, the phone rang and my eye doctor left a message than they had a new date for my surgery for me.

So, since I now felt I have a temporary answer, I have faxed them thanking them for their efforts and without giving details at this point, and briefly tried to explain that I felt I needed to take some extra time to decide whether I was to actually re-schedule or not, because I was feeling that there may be a reason, beyond the obvious ones, that my eye surgery was cancelled twice, etc.

So I asked whether I could come in for an appt. to see how my eyes are doing now and then take it from there, and at that appt. will likely discuss more with my eye doctor about this as well, and how I'm waiting for a clear answer from the Lord about this.

So that is where I feel I'm to be at this point and feel peace about that....but I still have to work through the fears of potentially holding off completely on the surgery, and keep working through these other things I feel God has me working through.

So THANK YOU AGAIN SOOO MUCH for all your prayers, and again, if you feel you have further input that you feel the Holy Spirit is impressing on your heart to share with me about this, I would be grateful and will prayerfully consider it! THANK YOU!!

You are in my prayers as well!

Lots of very encouraging things happening with work, too! I could write books about it!! More another time! :)

I hope you all have a wonderfully encouraging weekend!

With much love and prayers,
Grace